My Journal 2

June 2, 2007
11:28pm

I hate helping people move... Especially during the summer man... I sweat like a super morbidly obese person on a Richard Simmons video... Its the worst! Lol.

So I'm on the train on my way home from doing that moving gig... I'm so tired... And when I'm tired i become extremely random... So enjoy...

I can't stand people on the train with their blue tooth devices in their ears still... It just annoys me... Cuz obviously u ain't gonna get a phone call.. Ya dig?

I've been saying "ya dig" alot lately... And its one of the very few things that i picked up, that i cant (for the life of me) remember where i got it from... It just sounds cool to me...

Ya dig?

For those people who don't rele get slang to much (white ppl) (lol) I'll break it down for u.. It means "do you understand?"

I hate myself for liking that "umbrella" song by rihanna (or however its spelt) at first i couldn't stand it, but today, for the entire moving job, they had the radio on, and that song was practically on repeat... And sadly, it grew on me. Now I cant get it out of my mind...

You know what irks me? People who wear sandals that are to small 4 them... When their toes are coming out the front.. Makes me gagg.. Lol

I Just now witnessed couple play fight, the end with a kiss. It was such a beautiful moment. Looking at them, it almost seems as if they are super happy together... I wonder if that's the truth... Are they really happy? I sure as hell hope so.

Damnit! The N train is going Local.. Its gonna take me forever and a day to get home...

I just recently got a third job... Dont worry, I'm gonna quit one, and keep 2 of them... If ur curious to know what I'm doing, just ask.

Theres this homeless guy by my Job. He stands infront of Filenes Basement... Almost every morning that I see him, he is reading a little bible, and weeping.. Sometimes crying.. I wonder if God is really doing a work in his life.. I sometimes wanna go up to him and talk to him... Ya know, remind him (incase he forgets) that Jesus Loves him... Ya know?

I have a hole in my jeans that allows me to feel a nice breeze every now and then. Lol. I gotta throw these jeans away tho... Everytime i wear them, that breeze gets better and better..

Ya know what's a big turn off? Your probably gonna think to your self "wow took u this long to figure that out?" but I learned today that a person with no confidence is not that attractive... I met a young lady who i grew slightly interested in, (i still am, just not as much as i was yesterday due to my recent discovery) and well, she has like NO CONFIDENCE in herself... Which is sad, cuz she's very pretty, She's got an amazing smile.. And she's fun to be around with... But she thinks she isn't pretty at all... And i don't know if i got the patience to deal with that...

I hate the fact that we as humans, never see what other people see in us...

The most beautiful person in the planet will always find something wrong with themselves... And what's so sad, is that it can be the most smallest insignificant thing but they will dwell on it so much so, to the point where it distracts them from seeing the true beauty they have... "if only i was skinny" or "if only i wasn't so skinny".. "my ears are to big" or "my ears are to small"... People focus so much on that crap... I guess we were made like that for a reason...

Perhaps, it was so that we could go through that thing where your significant other tells you that your beautiful, and your heart smiles, because hearing that come from someone you love makes you feel like a million buckz...


June 4
2:08pm

I wonder if how I look when i'm listening to music on the train and acting out all the instruments. I'm either playing air drums, guitar, bass, and sometimes piano. (lol) I must look like a maniac. Ah whatever! I'm enjoying myself.. Shoo, i love my train rides...

Am I the only person who sometimes lip syncs the lyrics and pretend to be in a music video? Like when your walking and listening to that love song, (and ofcourse no one is anywhere near you) do you sometimes play pretend? (lol)

You know what never ceases to amaze me... The fact that this train i'm on has abunch of people who have lives.. You ever look at that stranger besides you, or accross from you and think to yourself "I wonder what that persons life is like, what is he/she thinking?" I do...

And why do we call people we don't know strangers? I don't think its fair to call someone you dont know strange... (lol)

7:20 pm (same day)

Only I would think that calling a stranger is rude. I'm funny... Atleast i'd like to think so.

Ok... Why is it that some people can look at a line, and not know what it is? I was in Starbucks with a friend, and we both had to rest in the restroom (lol) When we get there, we see this long welfare looking line.. And as common sense told us to do, we got in line. All of the sudden this oblivious retard walks in, sees the line, goes to directly infron of the bathroom door, and waits...

At that point, everyone in line was trying to make themselves noticeable by coughing, sneezing, or any other way people do it..

The idiot still doesn't get it...

So i yell "huh yea, a LINE!" and he hears me, and assumes his position in the rear of the line...

People do this ALL THE TIME!!! Its so frustrating. HOW DO YOU NOT SEE US?!?!

Man, I really have to pee. (lol)

Hey, reader... I have a question for you...

Are you one in a million? Or are you that part of million? Do you conform to the patterns of this world? Or are you different?

When you answer that, its important to be real with yourself. When I myself that, it brings me to a deep place of self realization. Ai think its crucial that we know ourselves. A lot of people in this planet, have no idea who they are, and yet they wanna to get to know other people...

Well, i guess what i'm trying to say is KNOW YOURSELF!

I wonder how well do I know myself?

=]


June 5
2:06am

Happy Birthday Mom.

Its 2 am in the morning and i'm still up.. In 8 hours, i will begin my training for my new job... Lucky me... I'm excited. I'm gonna get to meet new people. A new adventure awaits me. Yippie! LoL.

I should go to bed, but I wanna write about something first...

Fear.

Specifically, the fear of failure.

That's my greatest fear... I don't wanna fail...

Sometimes fear of failure, can result in, not trying. If you dont try, you wont fail.

So.. That's what i'm stuck at...

1 love reader...

9:05am

On my way to go get trained. I'm hyped and excited for something new.

I love New York. And I ain't talkin bout that crazy girl from VH1. I really mean that I love my city. Almost everyday I experience nice interactions between myself and some "Strangers" (as they like to say)(lol). Just now I did something great. I smiled at a person I didn't know. They smiled back.. It was a great moment.

Isn't it amazing how a simple smile can do? I mean it sure as hell made the beginning of my day. I mean I don't even know this person, and yet having them smile at me, makes me feel great!

Have you ever been really pissed at the world, and at that point a stranger smiles at you, and you can't help but feel a little bit better?

June 8
12:07 am

Confidence VS. Being Conceited

Is equal to

Beliving VS. Knowing

A confident person believes in his/her self. They see a challenge and say "ok i think i can do this... So i'll try".

A Cocky Conceited person knows. When they see an obstacle they say "oh please this ain't nothin but a piece of cake."

A cocky dude will approach a girl and think to himself "oh hell yea, i'm the shizznit, she gonna love me.. I'm the man... etc.."

A confident man steps accross a female and thinks about what to say. He believes that if he chooses his words carefully, he just might make a good impression..

Random? Well i'm tired as hell...

1 luv...

June 16th 3:58am

Been meanin to write but i've been busy...

For next blog, u'll see some stuff about "Being wanted vs. Being needed"

1 luv.