wow.
ever find urself in a bit of a pit and u just dont know how to get out?
u look around for an escape but there just seems to be no light to go to? sucks cuz i always say never regret what u've done cuz it makes u who u are, but damn what if sometimes ur just not feelin who u've become?
wanna go back in time and fix everything thats wrong with it. but i cant. i just gotta try to accept it and take all of the broken pieces on the floor and make something out of them...feel me?
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Saturday, November 24, 2007
IS there A Righteous Cause For Sin?
The following essay that you will read was written by a friend of mine named Laurence Davis...
"A RIGHTEOUS CAUSE FOR SINNING? THE STORY OF MY LIFE..MY THOUGHTS, ARE MY OWN, I'M IN CONTROL OF THEM, IN MY MIND I KNOW RIGHT FROM WRONG, THAT IS EASY, SIMPLE IN FACT.. BUT IT'S KNOWING WHAT YOU KNOW AND APPLYING IT TO YOUR EVERYDAY LIFE AND IT GETS EVEN HARDER WHEN "YOUR MIND" TELLS YOU IT'S OK BECAUSE OF THE REASON YOU'RE DOING WHAT YOU FEEL IS WRONG IS MORE IMPORTANT THEN THE WRONG ITSELF.. IN A WAY IT'S LIKE TRYING TO "JUSTIFY YOUR THUG".. NOW IF YOU'RE ABLE TO DO RIGHT BUT FOR THE WRONG REASON.. CAN YOU DO WRONG FOR THE RIGHT REASONS? AND IF SO IS IT STILL WRONG? WELL REVERSE EVERYTHING.. WHEN YOU DO RIGHT FOR THE WRONG REASON THE "GOOD" YOU'VE DONE IS "DISPLEASING" TO GOD BECAUSE HE SEES WHY U DID IT, AND MAYBE GOOD CAME FROM IT BUT SINCE YOUR REASONS WERE WRONG IN THE END YOU WERE WRONG AS WELL.. NOW IF YOU'VE DONE "BAD" BUT FOR THE RIGHT REASON DOES THE BAD THING YOU'VE DONE GET "OVERLOOKED" BECAUSE OF THE REASON YOU DID IT?.. IN THE END, ARE YOU RIGHT? IS IT BETTER TO DO "RIGHT" FOR THE WRONG REASON, OR TO DO WRONG BUT FOR THE RIGHT REASON?.... CAN YOU HAVE A RIGHTEOUS CAUSE FOR SINNING.. IF GOD CAN SEE THE WHOLE PICTURE.. THE BIG PICTURE.. THEN IN HIS EYES DO YOUR REASONS MEAN MORE TO HIM THEN WHAT YOU DO.. TO "DO" IS THE "OUTER YOU" (THE WORK OF YOUR HANDS AND MOUTH) AND YOUR "REASON" IS THE "INNER YOU" (THE WORK SUCH AS YOUR MIND AND HEART).. CAN YOU HAVE A RIGHTEOUS CAUSE FOR SINNING?"
Now I (Jordan L Rivera) want to elaborate a bit further on this topic.I know there are some people who refuse to understand Mr. Davis's point because of his mention of God. So I want to offer another alternative thought. Although we all may not believe in God, we all (for the most part) know right from wrong. Here are a couple of scenarios where right and wrong are clearly evident.Stealing... WrongReturning a lost phone... RightNow... According to Mr. Davis, the action doesn't really matter, in fact what does matter, is the motive. The REASON you did what you did, is the major factor that can determine if the action was right or wrong.Here are some examples that I thought of...
One of your friends is having a baby shower, and you decided you wanna buy the baby's stroller and crib.The action here is clearly a good thing. You did something nice for someone. Now what if instead of doing that because you really care about that friend and you wanna help out, your motive was something different? What if you only did it so that all your other friends can see how much of a great person you are? Now your doing it to feed your ego and pride. In my book, that would be considered wrong.Now, to the main point of this essay. "A righteous cause for sinning" Does it exist?
Lets go back to that pretend baby shower. Say you don't have any money, but you really care about the soon to be mother. You feel you care about her so much that you can't go empty handed. So you decide that your gonna get something, even if you have to steal it. Maybe some baby bottles, or clothes, what ever you can get your hands on.
Now keep in mind, your motive is pure. It's not that you don't wanna look bad, it's that you genuinely care about this person. Does that make this situation right?
Some people might say yes however, I can't agree. In order for someone or, something to be right, I feel that everything about the situation must be pure. And no matter what, there is nothing pure about stealing, lying, hating, and for that matter "sin."
So in conclusion, I do not believe there is a righteous cause for sinning. As tempting as it is, I cannot agree with such a belief. However, I do believe that motive is always a determining factor as far as judgment is concerned. When God looks at all the "right" and "good" things we've done, I know he'll see our hearts.Thank you for reading, and I welcome your questions, comments, and concerns.
"A RIGHTEOUS CAUSE FOR SINNING? THE STORY OF MY LIFE..MY THOUGHTS, ARE MY OWN, I'M IN CONTROL OF THEM, IN MY MIND I KNOW RIGHT FROM WRONG, THAT IS EASY, SIMPLE IN FACT.. BUT IT'S KNOWING WHAT YOU KNOW AND APPLYING IT TO YOUR EVERYDAY LIFE AND IT GETS EVEN HARDER WHEN "YOUR MIND" TELLS YOU IT'S OK BECAUSE OF THE REASON YOU'RE DOING WHAT YOU FEEL IS WRONG IS MORE IMPORTANT THEN THE WRONG ITSELF.. IN A WAY IT'S LIKE TRYING TO "JUSTIFY YOUR THUG".. NOW IF YOU'RE ABLE TO DO RIGHT BUT FOR THE WRONG REASON.. CAN YOU DO WRONG FOR THE RIGHT REASONS? AND IF SO IS IT STILL WRONG? WELL REVERSE EVERYTHING.. WHEN YOU DO RIGHT FOR THE WRONG REASON THE "GOOD" YOU'VE DONE IS "DISPLEASING" TO GOD BECAUSE HE SEES WHY U DID IT, AND MAYBE GOOD CAME FROM IT BUT SINCE YOUR REASONS WERE WRONG IN THE END YOU WERE WRONG AS WELL.. NOW IF YOU'VE DONE "BAD" BUT FOR THE RIGHT REASON DOES THE BAD THING YOU'VE DONE GET "OVERLOOKED" BECAUSE OF THE REASON YOU DID IT?.. IN THE END, ARE YOU RIGHT? IS IT BETTER TO DO "RIGHT" FOR THE WRONG REASON, OR TO DO WRONG BUT FOR THE RIGHT REASON?.... CAN YOU HAVE A RIGHTEOUS CAUSE FOR SINNING.. IF GOD CAN SEE THE WHOLE PICTURE.. THE BIG PICTURE.. THEN IN HIS EYES DO YOUR REASONS MEAN MORE TO HIM THEN WHAT YOU DO.. TO "DO" IS THE "OUTER YOU" (THE WORK OF YOUR HANDS AND MOUTH) AND YOUR "REASON" IS THE "INNER YOU" (THE WORK SUCH AS YOUR MIND AND HEART).. CAN YOU HAVE A RIGHTEOUS CAUSE FOR SINNING?"
Now I (Jordan L Rivera) want to elaborate a bit further on this topic.I know there are some people who refuse to understand Mr. Davis's point because of his mention of God. So I want to offer another alternative thought. Although we all may not believe in God, we all (for the most part) know right from wrong. Here are a couple of scenarios where right and wrong are clearly evident.Stealing... WrongReturning a lost phone... RightNow... According to Mr. Davis, the action doesn't really matter, in fact what does matter, is the motive. The REASON you did what you did, is the major factor that can determine if the action was right or wrong.Here are some examples that I thought of...
One of your friends is having a baby shower, and you decided you wanna buy the baby's stroller and crib.The action here is clearly a good thing. You did something nice for someone. Now what if instead of doing that because you really care about that friend and you wanna help out, your motive was something different? What if you only did it so that all your other friends can see how much of a great person you are? Now your doing it to feed your ego and pride. In my book, that would be considered wrong.Now, to the main point of this essay. "A righteous cause for sinning" Does it exist?
Lets go back to that pretend baby shower. Say you don't have any money, but you really care about the soon to be mother. You feel you care about her so much that you can't go empty handed. So you decide that your gonna get something, even if you have to steal it. Maybe some baby bottles, or clothes, what ever you can get your hands on.
Now keep in mind, your motive is pure. It's not that you don't wanna look bad, it's that you genuinely care about this person. Does that make this situation right?
Some people might say yes however, I can't agree. In order for someone or, something to be right, I feel that everything about the situation must be pure. And no matter what, there is nothing pure about stealing, lying, hating, and for that matter "sin."
So in conclusion, I do not believe there is a righteous cause for sinning. As tempting as it is, I cannot agree with such a belief. However, I do believe that motive is always a determining factor as far as judgment is concerned. When God looks at all the "right" and "good" things we've done, I know he'll see our hearts.Thank you for reading, and I welcome your questions, comments, and concerns.
Saturday, November 3, 2007
New Yorks Need More Sleep!!!
I'm tired of seeing that dude on the train who is always having a battle of epic proportions fighting his desire to sleep... especially when he's sitting next to me and some how his head lands on my elbow.. damnit!! get sleep!!
Monday, September 17, 2007
In a Mood to write about love...
You know how they say to kids "if you ever get lost, stay in one place, mom or dad will find you."
Ok, well I'm not sure if that was preached to everyone, but that was told to me. See the concept was that if I stayed still, it was more likely that my mother would find me than if I was looking for her while she was looking for me.
Does that apply to love?
Don't look for her, let her find you... Well.. What if she ain't looking?
I don't think I can explain that one any further.. If for some reason, you have a hard time understanding what I'm tryin to say, just ask me "hey Jordan... What are you trying to say?"
On another note, You know how they say that we have someone that God made just for us?
Well what if that person that was made just for you screwed up and married someone else.. I guess that means ur either condemned to loneliness, or you have to be with the wrong person and try to make it work..
Finally, I have had something that I've wanted to do for a while now...
I don't know who she is yet, but I have some promises I need to write down for my wife... I've noticed some marriages lately and they've depressed me. So I've decided that I will never be that guy..
Neways here's what's been on my heart..
Although at the present time, I don't know who you are, or what you look like, or what your name is... I have some promises for you.
First of all, I promise NEVER to get between you and your family.
I promise that I will always try my hardest to be understanding.
I promise to ALWAYS be a friend to you.
I promise I won't keep things from you... Unless its a surprised ;)
I promise I will always support you in whatever you do...
So yea... That's it for now...
It would be super cool if like 10 years from now, she could read that right? I hope she does...
Much love reader...
Ok, well I'm not sure if that was preached to everyone, but that was told to me. See the concept was that if I stayed still, it was more likely that my mother would find me than if I was looking for her while she was looking for me.
Does that apply to love?
Don't look for her, let her find you... Well.. What if she ain't looking?
I don't think I can explain that one any further.. If for some reason, you have a hard time understanding what I'm tryin to say, just ask me "hey Jordan... What are you trying to say?"
On another note, You know how they say that we have someone that God made just for us?
Well what if that person that was made just for you screwed up and married someone else.. I guess that means ur either condemned to loneliness, or you have to be with the wrong person and try to make it work..
Finally, I have had something that I've wanted to do for a while now...
I don't know who she is yet, but I have some promises I need to write down for my wife... I've noticed some marriages lately and they've depressed me. So I've decided that I will never be that guy..
Neways here's what's been on my heart..
Although at the present time, I don't know who you are, or what you look like, or what your name is... I have some promises for you.
First of all, I promise NEVER to get between you and your family.
I promise that I will always try my hardest to be understanding.
I promise to ALWAYS be a friend to you.
I promise I won't keep things from you... Unless its a surprised ;)
I promise I will always support you in whatever you do...
So yea... That's it for now...
It would be super cool if like 10 years from now, she could read that right? I hope she does...
Much love reader...
Thursday, July 26, 2007
My Journal 3
July 5, 2007
1:40 am.
Happy Independence Day... Ok, whatever. I'm an almost two hours late, but bear with me...
Today, I had an amazing experience with a woman from England. We spoke about a lot of interesting topics while watching fireworks. She was visiting us, here in the states, and it was her first time seeing fire works. She asked me what did Independence Day mean to me... I took a moment to try to remember what I learned several years ago in a history class.
HA! I remember!
It's a day we celebrate our freedom from the English!
"Does that mean anything to you Americans anymore?"
Honestly... I don't think it does. I feel like America has lost its appreciation of freedom now that we're the ones "freeing" other countries. Isn't that kinda sad? I mean, aside from our mentally retarded president, we are a great freakin country! I'm proud (sometimes) [lol] to be an American.
This day should mean something to me. If it wasn't for our founding daddies, we wouldn't be where we are now as Country... So that's one random thought.
Another question she asked was... "Are you ever afraid...Of terrorism?"
Nah... Never... Why live my life in fear? Wouldn't it suck to live your life in fear, and then die and nothing happened?
Plus, terrorism can strike at anytime, anywhere. If I get blown up tomorrow, well, there ain't much I'll be able to do about it. If it's gonna happen, it's gonna happen regardless of your fear.
So why fear? Why waste your time worrying about something that you have no control over? Just accept the fact that terrorism can happen, and just live your life.
That's what I'm doing. I'm not worried about getting blown up.
I hope you can understand what I'm saying. And if you are that individual who lives in constant fear, I can only hope you take into consideration what I've written here.
That woman from England thanked me, and admitted to me that she was a woman who lived in constant fear. She told me I was right, and that she would try her best not to fear, because she didn't want to be that person who lived and died afraid of something that didn't happen.
Well, anyway reader, I'm exhausted, so I'll quit here... Much love to my faithful fans...
All two of ya'll
(LoL)
July 10, 2007
1:47pm
I've finally come to terms with being single. I almost feel like I don't want (or need) a girl. Shoo, I am proud of myself. I've been feeling this way for quite some time now.
I guess I've been trying my best to keep busy. It's when you’re bored, alone, and not doin anything, that you get down.
If you’re that person, get 3 jobs. lol.
I like how to the dude sitting slightly to my right, (I'm on the train) has these disgusting ugly sneakers... Some uptowns that are black and white. One side all white, and the other all black. Just like the scarface poster.
I'm sure that when he bought them, and even now, he thinks they cool. But I, on the other hand, wanna gag at those sneakers. My point isn't that the man has no style, but that we all have our own definition of style.
I like my dirty old converses. He probably wants to gag at my feet. Ya dig? We all define ourselves.
We've all heard the statement (and I'm paraphrasing)
"If we all look alike, dress alike, thought alike, were alike, then this would be a super boring world"
Yep... I agree...
(I might be late for work... = [ wish me luck)
July 19, 2007
8:52 am
Well I wasn't late that day. In fact, by some miracle, I was early.
Anyhow, I owe a serious apology to all my good friends. And close loved ones and pretty much everyone...
I'm so sorry that I’m never really looking for ya'll. How often do I call people? For most of you guys, our friendship wouldn't exist if not for you looking for me.
I'm sorry I don't look for you. I'm sorry I rarely call you, and I never hang out.
I stay complaining to myself how I'm lonely and what not, but I realize it's my choice. I choose to be lonely. I know that I always got some people I can call...
I make this promise not to you, but to myself... I promise me, that I’m gonna try to change.
Because Lord knows' I need too....
July 23, 2007
8:38pm
It's amazing how life puts us through stuff.
Sometimes, decisions have to be made that are against what we want. Even crazier than that, sometimes what we want isn’t the better thing. We must learn to focus on the better choice... Even if it hurts... Like a flu shot... Hurts like hell, (well for me it does) but it's better for you... With pain and suffering comes growth... 1Love...
1:40 am.
Happy Independence Day... Ok, whatever. I'm an almost two hours late, but bear with me...
Today, I had an amazing experience with a woman from England. We spoke about a lot of interesting topics while watching fireworks. She was visiting us, here in the states, and it was her first time seeing fire works. She asked me what did Independence Day mean to me... I took a moment to try to remember what I learned several years ago in a history class.
HA! I remember!
It's a day we celebrate our freedom from the English!
"Does that mean anything to you Americans anymore?"
Honestly... I don't think it does. I feel like America has lost its appreciation of freedom now that we're the ones "freeing" other countries. Isn't that kinda sad? I mean, aside from our mentally retarded president, we are a great freakin country! I'm proud (sometimes) [lol] to be an American.
This day should mean something to me. If it wasn't for our founding daddies, we wouldn't be where we are now as Country... So that's one random thought.
Another question she asked was... "Are you ever afraid...Of terrorism?"
Nah... Never... Why live my life in fear? Wouldn't it suck to live your life in fear, and then die and nothing happened?
Plus, terrorism can strike at anytime, anywhere. If I get blown up tomorrow, well, there ain't much I'll be able to do about it. If it's gonna happen, it's gonna happen regardless of your fear.
So why fear? Why waste your time worrying about something that you have no control over? Just accept the fact that terrorism can happen, and just live your life.
That's what I'm doing. I'm not worried about getting blown up.
I hope you can understand what I'm saying. And if you are that individual who lives in constant fear, I can only hope you take into consideration what I've written here.
That woman from England thanked me, and admitted to me that she was a woman who lived in constant fear. She told me I was right, and that she would try her best not to fear, because she didn't want to be that person who lived and died afraid of something that didn't happen.
Well, anyway reader, I'm exhausted, so I'll quit here... Much love to my faithful fans...
All two of ya'll
(LoL)
July 10, 2007
1:47pm
I've finally come to terms with being single. I almost feel like I don't want (or need) a girl. Shoo, I am proud of myself. I've been feeling this way for quite some time now.
I guess I've been trying my best to keep busy. It's when you’re bored, alone, and not doin anything, that you get down.
If you’re that person, get 3 jobs. lol.
I like how to the dude sitting slightly to my right, (I'm on the train) has these disgusting ugly sneakers... Some uptowns that are black and white. One side all white, and the other all black. Just like the scarface poster.
I'm sure that when he bought them, and even now, he thinks they cool. But I, on the other hand, wanna gag at those sneakers. My point isn't that the man has no style, but that we all have our own definition of style.
I like my dirty old converses. He probably wants to gag at my feet. Ya dig? We all define ourselves.
We've all heard the statement (and I'm paraphrasing)
"If we all look alike, dress alike, thought alike, were alike, then this would be a super boring world"
Yep... I agree...
(I might be late for work... = [ wish me luck)
July 19, 2007
8:52 am
Well I wasn't late that day. In fact, by some miracle, I was early.
Anyhow, I owe a serious apology to all my good friends. And close loved ones and pretty much everyone...
I'm so sorry that I’m never really looking for ya'll. How often do I call people? For most of you guys, our friendship wouldn't exist if not for you looking for me.
I'm sorry I don't look for you. I'm sorry I rarely call you, and I never hang out.
I stay complaining to myself how I'm lonely and what not, but I realize it's my choice. I choose to be lonely. I know that I always got some people I can call...
I make this promise not to you, but to myself... I promise me, that I’m gonna try to change.
Because Lord knows' I need too....
July 23, 2007
8:38pm
It's amazing how life puts us through stuff.
Sometimes, decisions have to be made that are against what we want. Even crazier than that, sometimes what we want isn’t the better thing. We must learn to focus on the better choice... Even if it hurts... Like a flu shot... Hurts like hell, (well for me it does) but it's better for you... With pain and suffering comes growth... 1Love...
Sunday, June 17, 2007
My Journal 2
June 2, 2007
11:28pm
I hate helping people move... Especially during the summer man... I sweat like a super morbidly obese person on a Richard Simmons video... Its the worst! Lol.
So I'm on the train on my way home from doing that moving gig... I'm so tired... And when I'm tired i become extremely random... So enjoy...
I can't stand people on the train with their blue tooth devices in their ears still... It just annoys me... Cuz obviously u ain't gonna get a phone call.. Ya dig?
I've been saying "ya dig" alot lately... And its one of the very few things that i picked up, that i cant (for the life of me) remember where i got it from... It just sounds cool to me...
Ya dig?
For those people who don't rele get slang to much (white ppl) (lol) I'll break it down for u.. It means "do you understand?"
I hate myself for liking that "umbrella" song by rihanna (or however its spelt) at first i couldn't stand it, but today, for the entire moving job, they had the radio on, and that song was practically on repeat... And sadly, it grew on me. Now I cant get it out of my mind...
You know what irks me? People who wear sandals that are to small 4 them... When their toes are coming out the front.. Makes me gagg.. Lol
I Just now witnessed couple play fight, the end with a kiss. It was such a beautiful moment. Looking at them, it almost seems as if they are super happy together... I wonder if that's the truth... Are they really happy? I sure as hell hope so.
Damnit! The N train is going Local.. Its gonna take me forever and a day to get home...
I just recently got a third job... Dont worry, I'm gonna quit one, and keep 2 of them... If ur curious to know what I'm doing, just ask.
Theres this homeless guy by my Job. He stands infront of Filenes Basement... Almost every morning that I see him, he is reading a little bible, and weeping.. Sometimes crying.. I wonder if God is really doing a work in his life.. I sometimes wanna go up to him and talk to him... Ya know, remind him (incase he forgets) that Jesus Loves him... Ya know?
I have a hole in my jeans that allows me to feel a nice breeze every now and then. Lol. I gotta throw these jeans away tho... Everytime i wear them, that breeze gets better and better..
Ya know what's a big turn off? Your probably gonna think to your self "wow took u this long to figure that out?" but I learned today that a person with no confidence is not that attractive... I met a young lady who i grew slightly interested in, (i still am, just not as much as i was yesterday due to my recent discovery) and well, she has like NO CONFIDENCE in herself... Which is sad, cuz she's very pretty, She's got an amazing smile.. And she's fun to be around with... But she thinks she isn't pretty at all... And i don't know if i got the patience to deal with that...
I hate the fact that we as humans, never see what other people see in us...
The most beautiful person in the planet will always find something wrong with themselves... And what's so sad, is that it can be the most smallest insignificant thing but they will dwell on it so much so, to the point where it distracts them from seeing the true beauty they have... "if only i was skinny" or "if only i wasn't so skinny".. "my ears are to big" or "my ears are to small"... People focus so much on that crap... I guess we were made like that for a reason...
Perhaps, it was so that we could go through that thing where your significant other tells you that your beautiful, and your heart smiles, because hearing that come from someone you love makes you feel like a million buckz...
June 4
2:08pm
I wonder if how I look when i'm listening to music on the train and acting out all the instruments. I'm either playing air drums, guitar, bass, and sometimes piano. (lol) I must look like a maniac. Ah whatever! I'm enjoying myself.. Shoo, i love my train rides...
Am I the only person who sometimes lip syncs the lyrics and pretend to be in a music video? Like when your walking and listening to that love song, (and ofcourse no one is anywhere near you) do you sometimes play pretend? (lol)
You know what never ceases to amaze me... The fact that this train i'm on has abunch of people who have lives.. You ever look at that stranger besides you, or accross from you and think to yourself "I wonder what that persons life is like, what is he/she thinking?" I do...
And why do we call people we don't know strangers? I don't think its fair to call someone you dont know strange... (lol)
7:20 pm (same day)
Only I would think that calling a stranger is rude. I'm funny... Atleast i'd like to think so.
Ok... Why is it that some people can look at a line, and not know what it is? I was in Starbucks with a friend, and we both had to rest in the restroom (lol) When we get there, we see this long welfare looking line.. And as common sense told us to do, we got in line. All of the sudden this oblivious retard walks in, sees the line, goes to directly infron of the bathroom door, and waits...
At that point, everyone in line was trying to make themselves noticeable by coughing, sneezing, or any other way people do it..
The idiot still doesn't get it...
So i yell "huh yea, a LINE!" and he hears me, and assumes his position in the rear of the line...
People do this ALL THE TIME!!! Its so frustrating. HOW DO YOU NOT SEE US?!?!
Man, I really have to pee. (lol)
Hey, reader... I have a question for you...
Are you one in a million? Or are you that part of million? Do you conform to the patterns of this world? Or are you different?
When you answer that, its important to be real with yourself. When I myself that, it brings me to a deep place of self realization. Ai think its crucial that we know ourselves. A lot of people in this planet, have no idea who they are, and yet they wanna to get to know other people...
Well, i guess what i'm trying to say is KNOW YOURSELF!
I wonder how well do I know myself?
=]
June 5
2:06am
Happy Birthday Mom.
Its 2 am in the morning and i'm still up.. In 8 hours, i will begin my training for my new job... Lucky me... I'm excited. I'm gonna get to meet new people. A new adventure awaits me. Yippie! LoL.
I should go to bed, but I wanna write about something first...
Fear.
Specifically, the fear of failure.
That's my greatest fear... I don't wanna fail...
Sometimes fear of failure, can result in, not trying. If you dont try, you wont fail.
So.. That's what i'm stuck at...
1 love reader...
9:05am
On my way to go get trained. I'm hyped and excited for something new.
I love New York. And I ain't talkin bout that crazy girl from VH1. I really mean that I love my city. Almost everyday I experience nice interactions between myself and some "Strangers" (as they like to say)(lol). Just now I did something great. I smiled at a person I didn't know. They smiled back.. It was a great moment.
Isn't it amazing how a simple smile can do? I mean it sure as hell made the beginning of my day. I mean I don't even know this person, and yet having them smile at me, makes me feel great!
Have you ever been really pissed at the world, and at that point a stranger smiles at you, and you can't help but feel a little bit better?
June 8
12:07 am
Confidence VS. Being Conceited
Is equal to
Beliving VS. Knowing
A confident person believes in his/her self. They see a challenge and say "ok i think i can do this... So i'll try".
A Cocky Conceited person knows. When they see an obstacle they say "oh please this ain't nothin but a piece of cake."
A cocky dude will approach a girl and think to himself "oh hell yea, i'm the shizznit, she gonna love me.. I'm the man... etc.."
A confident man steps accross a female and thinks about what to say. He believes that if he chooses his words carefully, he just might make a good impression..
Random? Well i'm tired as hell...
1 luv...
June 16th 3:58am
Been meanin to write but i've been busy...
For next blog, u'll see some stuff about "Being wanted vs. Being needed"
1 luv.
11:28pm
I hate helping people move... Especially during the summer man... I sweat like a super morbidly obese person on a Richard Simmons video... Its the worst! Lol.
So I'm on the train on my way home from doing that moving gig... I'm so tired... And when I'm tired i become extremely random... So enjoy...
I can't stand people on the train with their blue tooth devices in their ears still... It just annoys me... Cuz obviously u ain't gonna get a phone call.. Ya dig?
I've been saying "ya dig" alot lately... And its one of the very few things that i picked up, that i cant (for the life of me) remember where i got it from... It just sounds cool to me...
Ya dig?
For those people who don't rele get slang to much (white ppl) (lol) I'll break it down for u.. It means "do you understand?"
I hate myself for liking that "umbrella" song by rihanna (or however its spelt) at first i couldn't stand it, but today, for the entire moving job, they had the radio on, and that song was practically on repeat... And sadly, it grew on me. Now I cant get it out of my mind...
You know what irks me? People who wear sandals that are to small 4 them... When their toes are coming out the front.. Makes me gagg.. Lol
I Just now witnessed couple play fight, the end with a kiss. It was such a beautiful moment. Looking at them, it almost seems as if they are super happy together... I wonder if that's the truth... Are they really happy? I sure as hell hope so.
Damnit! The N train is going Local.. Its gonna take me forever and a day to get home...
I just recently got a third job... Dont worry, I'm gonna quit one, and keep 2 of them... If ur curious to know what I'm doing, just ask.
Theres this homeless guy by my Job. He stands infront of Filenes Basement... Almost every morning that I see him, he is reading a little bible, and weeping.. Sometimes crying.. I wonder if God is really doing a work in his life.. I sometimes wanna go up to him and talk to him... Ya know, remind him (incase he forgets) that Jesus Loves him... Ya know?
I have a hole in my jeans that allows me to feel a nice breeze every now and then. Lol. I gotta throw these jeans away tho... Everytime i wear them, that breeze gets better and better..
Ya know what's a big turn off? Your probably gonna think to your self "wow took u this long to figure that out?" but I learned today that a person with no confidence is not that attractive... I met a young lady who i grew slightly interested in, (i still am, just not as much as i was yesterday due to my recent discovery) and well, she has like NO CONFIDENCE in herself... Which is sad, cuz she's very pretty, She's got an amazing smile.. And she's fun to be around with... But she thinks she isn't pretty at all... And i don't know if i got the patience to deal with that...
I hate the fact that we as humans, never see what other people see in us...
The most beautiful person in the planet will always find something wrong with themselves... And what's so sad, is that it can be the most smallest insignificant thing but they will dwell on it so much so, to the point where it distracts them from seeing the true beauty they have... "if only i was skinny" or "if only i wasn't so skinny".. "my ears are to big" or "my ears are to small"... People focus so much on that crap... I guess we were made like that for a reason...
Perhaps, it was so that we could go through that thing where your significant other tells you that your beautiful, and your heart smiles, because hearing that come from someone you love makes you feel like a million buckz...
June 4
2:08pm
I wonder if how I look when i'm listening to music on the train and acting out all the instruments. I'm either playing air drums, guitar, bass, and sometimes piano. (lol) I must look like a maniac. Ah whatever! I'm enjoying myself.. Shoo, i love my train rides...
Am I the only person who sometimes lip syncs the lyrics and pretend to be in a music video? Like when your walking and listening to that love song, (and ofcourse no one is anywhere near you) do you sometimes play pretend? (lol)
You know what never ceases to amaze me... The fact that this train i'm on has abunch of people who have lives.. You ever look at that stranger besides you, or accross from you and think to yourself "I wonder what that persons life is like, what is he/she thinking?" I do...
And why do we call people we don't know strangers? I don't think its fair to call someone you dont know strange... (lol)
7:20 pm (same day)
Only I would think that calling a stranger is rude. I'm funny... Atleast i'd like to think so.
Ok... Why is it that some people can look at a line, and not know what it is? I was in Starbucks with a friend, and we both had to rest in the restroom (lol) When we get there, we see this long welfare looking line.. And as common sense told us to do, we got in line. All of the sudden this oblivious retard walks in, sees the line, goes to directly infron of the bathroom door, and waits...
At that point, everyone in line was trying to make themselves noticeable by coughing, sneezing, or any other way people do it..
The idiot still doesn't get it...
So i yell "huh yea, a LINE!" and he hears me, and assumes his position in the rear of the line...
People do this ALL THE TIME!!! Its so frustrating. HOW DO YOU NOT SEE US?!?!
Man, I really have to pee. (lol)
Hey, reader... I have a question for you...
Are you one in a million? Or are you that part of million? Do you conform to the patterns of this world? Or are you different?
When you answer that, its important to be real with yourself. When I myself that, it brings me to a deep place of self realization. Ai think its crucial that we know ourselves. A lot of people in this planet, have no idea who they are, and yet they wanna to get to know other people...
Well, i guess what i'm trying to say is KNOW YOURSELF!
I wonder how well do I know myself?
=]
June 5
2:06am
Happy Birthday Mom.
Its 2 am in the morning and i'm still up.. In 8 hours, i will begin my training for my new job... Lucky me... I'm excited. I'm gonna get to meet new people. A new adventure awaits me. Yippie! LoL.
I should go to bed, but I wanna write about something first...
Fear.
Specifically, the fear of failure.
That's my greatest fear... I don't wanna fail...
Sometimes fear of failure, can result in, not trying. If you dont try, you wont fail.
So.. That's what i'm stuck at...
1 love reader...
9:05am
On my way to go get trained. I'm hyped and excited for something new.
I love New York. And I ain't talkin bout that crazy girl from VH1. I really mean that I love my city. Almost everyday I experience nice interactions between myself and some "Strangers" (as they like to say)(lol). Just now I did something great. I smiled at a person I didn't know. They smiled back.. It was a great moment.
Isn't it amazing how a simple smile can do? I mean it sure as hell made the beginning of my day. I mean I don't even know this person, and yet having them smile at me, makes me feel great!
Have you ever been really pissed at the world, and at that point a stranger smiles at you, and you can't help but feel a little bit better?
June 8
12:07 am
Confidence VS. Being Conceited
Is equal to
Beliving VS. Knowing
A confident person believes in his/her self. They see a challenge and say "ok i think i can do this... So i'll try".
A Cocky Conceited person knows. When they see an obstacle they say "oh please this ain't nothin but a piece of cake."
A cocky dude will approach a girl and think to himself "oh hell yea, i'm the shizznit, she gonna love me.. I'm the man... etc.."
A confident man steps accross a female and thinks about what to say. He believes that if he chooses his words carefully, he just might make a good impression..
Random? Well i'm tired as hell...
1 luv...
June 16th 3:58am
Been meanin to write but i've been busy...
For next blog, u'll see some stuff about "Being wanted vs. Being needed"
1 luv.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Drama...
We've all experienced it. We've all been hurt, disappointed, angry, sad, and all those other emotions that come with Drama. What is Drama? The definition according to a Webster's dictionary is "any situation or series of events having vivid, emotional, conflicting, or striking interest or results" and, "the quality of being dramatic."
Sadly, sometimes we bring the drama among ourselves. By being very "dramatic," we allow our emotions to get the best of us which make us blow things out of proportion. Thus harming ourselves and, anyone else involved as well.
I've been thinking a lot lately about the choices I make. Are they wise? I ask myself because I find that unwise decisions are usually a waste of my time. If I choose to get involve with Drama, I'm sacrificing my wisdom for nothing. A big waste of time.
I've come to the realization that time is a precious thing and, sadly we all take time for granted. We don't realize how lucky we are to have woken up another day. Another hour gone by. We are so blessed to have time on our side.
I love time. It never stops, it always heals, always reveals, and it never changes.
Imagine if you were told you have 10 hours to live? Would you waste any of that time to become part of a situation with conflicting interest? Would you bother with Drama? Would you call him/her and tell him/her off because of what he/she did behind your back?
Or would you just move on? Say "the hell with that" wouldn't you find something better to do with those 10 hours?
See... The way you would live in your last 10 hours, should be how you live all the time... Why? Because hello! The next 10 minutes are not guaranteed to you.
We avoid death like a drunk girl/guy at a party, but unlike that drunk girl/guy, death WILL come eventually.
I say its time to live life without wasting ur time.
Crappy relationship?
Why waste your time?
He said, that she said...
Who cares?
I hope that you can understand what I'm saying here... Time... It’s a great thing, don't forget it....
Sadly, sometimes we bring the drama among ourselves. By being very "dramatic," we allow our emotions to get the best of us which make us blow things out of proportion. Thus harming ourselves and, anyone else involved as well.
I've been thinking a lot lately about the choices I make. Are they wise? I ask myself because I find that unwise decisions are usually a waste of my time. If I choose to get involve with Drama, I'm sacrificing my wisdom for nothing. A big waste of time.
I've come to the realization that time is a precious thing and, sadly we all take time for granted. We don't realize how lucky we are to have woken up another day. Another hour gone by. We are so blessed to have time on our side.
I love time. It never stops, it always heals, always reveals, and it never changes.
Imagine if you were told you have 10 hours to live? Would you waste any of that time to become part of a situation with conflicting interest? Would you bother with Drama? Would you call him/her and tell him/her off because of what he/she did behind your back?
Or would you just move on? Say "the hell with that" wouldn't you find something better to do with those 10 hours?
See... The way you would live in your last 10 hours, should be how you live all the time... Why? Because hello! The next 10 minutes are not guaranteed to you.
We avoid death like a drunk girl/guy at a party, but unlike that drunk girl/guy, death WILL come eventually.
I say its time to live life without wasting ur time.
Crappy relationship?
Why waste your time?
He said, that she said...
Who cares?
I hope that you can understand what I'm saying here... Time... It’s a great thing, don't forget it....
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Journal 1
1/18/07
What would you be without the person within you? NOTHING!! U'd be just a girl with pretty eyes, or just a dude with a nice outfit. Nothin more nothin less. So niggas that holla at shorties from across the block are chasing nothin but a mere shell. That's the worst part of bein shallow. You can truly miss out on another persons true self, in essence, a persons true beauty. "Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder" except if the beholder is too narrow-minded to define beauty. Woooord... What is beauty? What is it to you? Does it take visual perception for you to define beauty? If so, u got it twisted... America has got beauty twisted. Got girls looking up to these skinnyass models and junk. Poor men in America are to dumb too. Married men look at their wives and say "i wish u looked like name of 'sexy person' cuz ur ugly" funny but sad. People sometimes forget the reason they fell in love in the first place. That breaks my heart. Love is suppose to last a life time, and in America is probably last 5 years tops. Ever notice how people who spend there lives looking for love never find it? They sometimes think they did. And yet people who live "chill" lives, get it.. As God intended.
1/20/07
What did God intend?
When he made us, what the hell was he thinkin? And why did he choose to redeem us? I mean, he didn't want sickness for the word.. Adam and Eve had a perfect world. I mean if i was Adam would i have f***ed up?
1/23/07
1:38 am
I love people who love fashion so much, they'd sacrifice a meal or two for it.. And im not talking about someone on a runway. Im talkin bout that guy or girl from the hood who wont eat for a couple of days so they can get the new jordans and that new hoodie with all the colors that cost madd much. I LOVE them dudes... Why? Cuz the passion behind the materialism.. Ill get into this more tomorrow...
9:07 am
So any other person would call those people materialistic. Ok, yea they are, but i mean it takes passion to sacrifice all the things they do in order to stay on top. And as much as i cant stand someone who will spend all that money on a pair of shoes, i dont get to mad, cuz i mean i love spendin my money on other things. A couple of months ago, my friend brought some special edition jordans, cost him 600 buckz. I yelled at him.. And he said "i spend my money on what i love, and so do u... How much did that psp, and ipod, cost you?" or somethin like that. So i guess what you do with your money is all on u. Just be aware that all ur sh*t will perish 1 day.
Woooooord.
1/24/07
Ruben Studdard F***ed up badly... New album "the return" aka "the 3rd attempt." How he goes secular, then, gospel, and now secular again... And sad thing is that all of his secular joints suck ass... "change me"... Paraphrasin the lyrics, he goes "would i be wrong if i said u were ugly in the morning?" its a madd grimy song. Check out the video on aol.com... Mad disapointing... Like if he went secular, at least write somethin good... Asshole.
Today some of my murrow peoples came through 2 my job... It was madd freakin awesome... Madd good to see Momoe, Tito, Shehema, and Emaunel. I was madd happy yo... I almost cried from joy. Them pplz was my pplz in my first 2 years of high school... "why only 2 years Jordan?"
Cuz after 2 years i transferred out of murrow into a minimum security prison, aka Graphics Communication And Arts High School... Ahhhhhh! Memories haunt me.
Im rele tryin 2 get into this journal, eventually it'll be a myspace blog...
DID YOU KNOW: blog is short for "weB LOG" just a random fact... Chew on that, its delicious... So right now im on the train, and there is a blood nigga chillin on the train... He blood cuz he got all his colors, and beads and bandana and etc... But he look depressed as all hell... And almost scared... I looked dead at him and we played that game of "who's gonna look away first?" and he looked away quickly... I'm almost ashamed of myself... Why? Cuz i wish that i could of tried, at least tried offered him some kinda hope... Jesus hope... Ya know, what I've been taught my whole life about? I mean ya know what, right now, my life, my walk with God aint how its suppose to be.. Its honestly never been this bad, im truly experiencing a new low... But its all my fault... I keep on sayin "i aint ready 2 go baq to that yet" and before, when i was "there" i use to look down @ ppl who were goin through what im goin through... Cuz i didn't understand that concept... "when im ready" now i am at that crossroad in my life... And now I'M not ready... And i hope i will be soon... Cuz i cant stand where im at...
Anyways, just cuz im goin through this, don't mean i don't know the truth about Jesus... He CAN TRANSFORM LIVES... No lie. And when i saw that dude on that train (im on a new train... He was on the A, im on the L now) something in me wished that he could somehow find out about the hope he could have.
The thing about Christianity, is that even with its flaws, you know, the hypocrites in churches, or the idea that its not fun, or whatever ur thing against it is, Christianity offers 1 main thing... A hope that u couldn't get anywhere else (well that's just my opinion...) it offers the hope of becoming a new being. Of being "cleansed of all ur sins" and a hope that ull one day see Heaven... A hope that Jesus loves you.. If u've ever gone through something in ur life in which u felt hated by the world, or completely left out, the idea of Jesus loving u, really becomes something. Ur life can be totally changed just cuz u heard that.. I wish that kid could rele know that, and truly understand it... Ya know? I wish i truly
understood it...
Anyways, ill end this entry with this...
"I'd rather spend my life believing in God, and then die to find out its all a lie... Then to live my life denying God and findin out he's real..."
1 love, reader.......
What would you be without the person within you? NOTHING!! U'd be just a girl with pretty eyes, or just a dude with a nice outfit. Nothin more nothin less. So niggas that holla at shorties from across the block are chasing nothin but a mere shell. That's the worst part of bein shallow. You can truly miss out on another persons true self, in essence, a persons true beauty. "Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder" except if the beholder is too narrow-minded to define beauty. Woooord... What is beauty? What is it to you? Does it take visual perception for you to define beauty? If so, u got it twisted... America has got beauty twisted. Got girls looking up to these skinnyass models and junk. Poor men in America are to dumb too. Married men look at their wives and say "i wish u looked like name of 'sexy person' cuz ur ugly" funny but sad. People sometimes forget the reason they fell in love in the first place. That breaks my heart. Love is suppose to last a life time, and in America is probably last 5 years tops. Ever notice how people who spend there lives looking for love never find it? They sometimes think they did. And yet people who live "chill" lives, get it.. As God intended.
1/20/07
What did God intend?
When he made us, what the hell was he thinkin? And why did he choose to redeem us? I mean, he didn't want sickness for the word.. Adam and Eve had a perfect world. I mean if i was Adam would i have f***ed up?
1/23/07
1:38 am
I love people who love fashion so much, they'd sacrifice a meal or two for it.. And im not talking about someone on a runway. Im talkin bout that guy or girl from the hood who wont eat for a couple of days so they can get the new jordans and that new hoodie with all the colors that cost madd much. I LOVE them dudes... Why? Cuz the passion behind the materialism.. Ill get into this more tomorrow...
9:07 am
So any other person would call those people materialistic. Ok, yea they are, but i mean it takes passion to sacrifice all the things they do in order to stay on top. And as much as i cant stand someone who will spend all that money on a pair of shoes, i dont get to mad, cuz i mean i love spendin my money on other things. A couple of months ago, my friend brought some special edition jordans, cost him 600 buckz. I yelled at him.. And he said "i spend my money on what i love, and so do u... How much did that psp, and ipod, cost you?" or somethin like that. So i guess what you do with your money is all on u. Just be aware that all ur sh*t will perish 1 day.
Woooooord.
1/24/07
Ruben Studdard F***ed up badly... New album "the return" aka "the 3rd attempt." How he goes secular, then, gospel, and now secular again... And sad thing is that all of his secular joints suck ass... "change me"... Paraphrasin the lyrics, he goes "would i be wrong if i said u were ugly in the morning?" its a madd grimy song. Check out the video on aol.com... Mad disapointing... Like if he went secular, at least write somethin good... Asshole.
Today some of my murrow peoples came through 2 my job... It was madd freakin awesome... Madd good to see Momoe, Tito, Shehema, and Emaunel. I was madd happy yo... I almost cried from joy. Them pplz was my pplz in my first 2 years of high school... "why only 2 years Jordan?"
Cuz after 2 years i transferred out of murrow into a minimum security prison, aka Graphics Communication And Arts High School... Ahhhhhh! Memories haunt me.
Im rele tryin 2 get into this journal, eventually it'll be a myspace blog...
DID YOU KNOW: blog is short for "weB LOG" just a random fact... Chew on that, its delicious... So right now im on the train, and there is a blood nigga chillin on the train... He blood cuz he got all his colors, and beads and bandana and etc... But he look depressed as all hell... And almost scared... I looked dead at him and we played that game of "who's gonna look away first?" and he looked away quickly... I'm almost ashamed of myself... Why? Cuz i wish that i could of tried, at least tried offered him some kinda hope... Jesus hope... Ya know, what I've been taught my whole life about? I mean ya know what, right now, my life, my walk with God aint how its suppose to be.. Its honestly never been this bad, im truly experiencing a new low... But its all my fault... I keep on sayin "i aint ready 2 go baq to that yet" and before, when i was "there" i use to look down @ ppl who were goin through what im goin through... Cuz i didn't understand that concept... "when im ready" now i am at that crossroad in my life... And now I'M not ready... And i hope i will be soon... Cuz i cant stand where im at...
Anyways, just cuz im goin through this, don't mean i don't know the truth about Jesus... He CAN TRANSFORM LIVES... No lie. And when i saw that dude on that train (im on a new train... He was on the A, im on the L now) something in me wished that he could somehow find out about the hope he could have.
The thing about Christianity, is that even with its flaws, you know, the hypocrites in churches, or the idea that its not fun, or whatever ur thing against it is, Christianity offers 1 main thing... A hope that u couldn't get anywhere else (well that's just my opinion...) it offers the hope of becoming a new being. Of being "cleansed of all ur sins" and a hope that ull one day see Heaven... A hope that Jesus loves you.. If u've ever gone through something in ur life in which u felt hated by the world, or completely left out, the idea of Jesus loving u, really becomes something. Ur life can be totally changed just cuz u heard that.. I wish that kid could rele know that, and truly understand it... Ya know? I wish i truly
understood it...
Anyways, ill end this entry with this...
"I'd rather spend my life believing in God, and then die to find out its all a lie... Then to live my life denying God and findin out he's real..."
1 love, reader.......
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)