Sigh... Poor Pepito

2/1/2010

Well, I was looking through some drafts of old blogs that never made the cut. I found this and thought it'd be appropriate now since Pepito went to be with the Lord in June '09. I must say that I do miss having him around. Regardless of his attitude problem. Anyways, I thought it was funny how I described him a little. If you ever met him, you might appreciate what I had to say about him back in November '08.

Enjoy....

11/14/08
Don't tell my mother...

I think my dog is dying. I know I just instructed you not to tell my mother, but believe it or not, I've been trying to tell her myself. Pepito is like 15 years old. He's like a grumpy old man, doesn't like to be bothered. I asked him the other day if he wanted to go outside for a walk and he said to me in plain english "F*** OFF LOSER!"

I walked away crying. There was once a time where I could say the word "outside" and he'd freak out. Almost like how the people who open their door only to find Xzibit and the pimp my ride crew in their front yard freak out. I miss those days. He'd jump around like a maniac, and while it was almost impossible to get a leash on him, it was still fun. He use to be a fun puppy.

Now he's a freakin grump. And I don't very much appreciate his behavior towards me. He's only got like 3 teeth left....(END)

Confidence VS Humility

On another random note, I realized something today. I'm currently studying music at the Boden Center. For those of you who don't know, it’s actually a music school that’s part of Crossroads Tabernacle in the Bronx.

I'm taking a classed called "Applied Music" which is a class that’s basically devoted to music theory. I can't say that I’ve ever learned so much in such a short period of time. It’s truly been a blessing to study here.

I said all this to say, that today I learned something about being a musician. I realized the importance of being confident, especially as a drummer.

It’s true when they say that the rhythm section of a band can make or break it. As a drummer, I’m responsible for keeping the drive of the song, maintaining the tempo, and securing that rhythm. With that being said, you can already see the importance of playing with confidence.

Now, here comes the part where I mostly struggle with. I understand why I need to play with a sense of command over my instrument; however, I was raised to be a humble man.

I find that my struggle here is distinguishing the difference between being confident and being cocky. It's evident that there is an extremely thin line between the two. You can be confident and come off as a cocky person. It's really a sore to the eye when you see someone who is cocky. They think highly of themselves, and it hurts you.

On the other hand, when someone is genuinely confident, it totally turns your perspective of that person around. It becomes the kind of thing you can learn to respect. This is where I am at right now. I'm working on defining myself as a drummer. Hoping to be confident, and to be that damn good. lol. Trying to distinguish that thin line between being confident, and refraining from becoming cocky and arrogant.

I met this one drummer who was lucky enough to play with the Hypnotic Brass Ensemble. (Google/youtube them if you don't know who they are) He was complaining to me about how he couldn't really play how he wanted to because the band wanted a certain sound. I know what that feels like, but what messed it up was when he started rambling on about how great he was. The complete opposite of being humble. This guy starting saying he was the best thing that happened to this band.

The most disappointing part of this story is the end. When the band finally started playing their tune, he was far from being a phenominal drummer. He kept making mistakes, his tempo was all over the place, and at some points, some of the band members would turn around and give him dirty looks for messing up their songs.

I don't ever want that to be me. At least had this young man had a humble mindset, then not only would his playing have been not so out of line, and his arogance wouldn't of given the songs such a foul stench.

Well, in anycase, thats my opinion.

Much Love Reader,

-JR

On A Mission...

...To make her feel beautiful. Only problem is that I have no clue where to begin. I mean how is it possible for a man to make a woman feel beautiful other than to speak pretty words? Those can get boring and meaningless after a period of time. Not only that, words will never speak as loudly as actions do.

And besides, the beauty I see in her goes far beyond what my eyes see. Of course to me, she's a sight to behold. However, I'm not looking to convince her that she's Americas next top model, but rather to show her that deep down inside her, there's a beauty that's so great, so marvelous, so spectacular. It's simply amazing.

My father may not have been the worlds greatest dad, but I sure did learn a lot from him. One of the many lessons learned was "it's the small things that you do in life that matter. They will always come together and create one epic thing". At the time he was lecturing me
on some small bad habits I had.

I've come to realize that it can be applied to anything in life. The small minuscule things that we tend to treat as such, can add up to become one major disaster or in some cases the complete opposite. She's a compilation of a million tiny cute things. When you do math, 1+1=2, and 2+1=3, and 3+1=4, and so on and so forth.

If you have 1,000,000 small minuscule things that are each worth $1, they'll all add up, and you'll be a millionaire. Somethings might be so small she may not even notice. For instance, I happen to appreciate the fact that she's college bound. She's got goals. And a great freakin head on her shoulders.

As brilliant as I might find her, she only lacks one thing. The ability to see what I see. Even still I see it to be a good thing. In knowing her alone, I feel like I've become a richer man. Simply because she's worth more then her weight in gold.

It's a tragic story of her past. Not to get to personal, but sadly her ex had no idea of her worth. He made the mistake of not investing. To bad for him, because he would of been a millionaire.

However his unfortunate mistake had a negative impact on her. Sadly she began to think she was worthless, when in reality, that wasn't the story at all. The lie of her being worthless has poisoned her mind deeply.

Now she meets me. A man who wants to make it his mission...

To make her feel beautiful. Only problem is that I have no clue where to begin. I can only hope that by me sharing this story, she'll see that perhaps she is worth more than a million. I know I said I don't like pretty words, but it's the fact that I sat down and wrote this. Hopefully this constitutes as an action.

Much love reader,

~Jordan

Save Me

Save me. I'm drowning in my own thoughts.

Save me. Throw me a rope, and call it hope. I scream and, you don't hear me. This is a lesson of despair. A moment of suffering.

Save me. I'm suffocating in this ocean of fears, this sea of insecurities. Violent waves of doubt, cloud my young mind. No man can see his future and, almost every man forgets his past.

Save me, I'm held captive by this vicious cycle called Today. Tell me when will tomorrow come? When will you save me?

~Jordan L. Rivera

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So I wrote this poem out of no where. It's a piece that came from deep with in me. I didn't even realize I was feeling in need of salvation until I wrote this. Oh well. Hope you enjoyed it.

Yawn...

6/1/08
5:41pm

So I'm ok the train on my way to class. And well, I just saw this lady yawn. And then I yawned. Ok, now I know we've all heard the term "yawns are contagious" but has anyone stopped to seriously consider why?

Well, I have.

Sadly I haven’t come up with any genius idea. I mean I tried telling myself that maybe with each yawn comes another way that we as humans communicate with one another. LOL.

I doubt that makes any sense. But it was a random thought. Like what if yawning is just another way of playing telephone.

Hey, ya never know...

Beauty...

It finally makes sense to me. I've heard the phrase "I don't know what you see in me" and I'm sure I've said it thousands of time. In reality, I don't really see what people see. I can't say I've ever met someone that truly saw the beauty in them that I saw in them.

Perhaps this is a good thing. I mean, if we all truly realized just how amazing, and beautiful we are, we would suffer from narcissism. We would all fall in love with ourselves, thus becoming ego maniacal people. How then would we fall in love with eachother? How then would we have made it this far as a human race? That's why most of us weren't allowed to see what others see.

It's an extraordinary thing to understand that although I may not see anything great about myself, someone else will. We are all, regardless of race, creed, sex, etc, exquisite people. It's also comforting to know that we were made in God's own image.

Another thing that makes us what we are, is the fact that no matter who you are, you are unique. There are NO two people alike. Can you image if every flower in the world was different? We would find each and everyone of them phenomenal, for the simple fact that they would each be different.

Well, that's how I see it atleast. It makes me think to myself "God is so smart."

Much love reader!

First Impressions...

First impressions are never valid. It’s amazing how in many situations, the first impression is what'll get you the job, or the girl, or the trust. People can look at you, and based on their first impression, think to themselves, "oh hell no..."

Here's something ironic: How many times in your life have you heard "you know when I first met you..." Those statements usually end like "I would have never thought..."

For instance, have you ever met someone who had hip-hop written all over them, and later on you realize they are heavy metal fans? It’s been made obvious, through out time, how inaccurate our judgments, based on first impressions, are. With that being said, can someone please explain to me the reason behind our judgments? Why do we label people almost instantly? It’s been proven that we are more then likely to be wrong! Yet we continue in our ways.

Why?

Perhaps it’s because, no matter who you are, you’ll always want the easy way out. I mean, who doesn’t want to get on the shorter line? So what if you have 15 items and it’s a 12 items or less line? You’re still going to go for it. It’s the easy way, so why not take it. You might find yourself asking “Excuse sir, but what does waiting in line have anything to do with judging someone, based on a first impression?” Well, if you hold your horses, I’ll get to that point.

As I mentioned, we always want the easy way out. Another thing we’ll always want is the ability to know our friends, family, peers, and pretty much anyone we encounter through out our lives. When you truly know someone, it can launch an everyday, mediocre friendship, to a whole new level. Whenever we come across a new person, there are times when we have a wall around us. It’s a defense mechanism; “I don’t know this person, so therefore I must keep my guard up.” When you know someone, even if this person truly is an untrustworthy shark, you’ll be put at ease. You’ll know that they are an untrustworthy shark, so therefore your mind will relax. There will be no need for that defense mechanism. You already know how they are, so you’d know what to look out fore.

Imagine being at war. In a battlefield, where you cannot see your enemy, there is absolutely no chance of peace in mind. Every step you take, you would be fearful of being sighted by the enemy. Not only would there be a war happening outside, but also in your mind. “Should I move? Should I stay here? Am I safe? Can they see me?” Imagine the advantage you would have, if you knew your opponents whereabouts.

Why do we judge people so quickly? How can we be so fast to label people? Isn’t it terrible to classify someone as an enemy, when yet they are actually the total opposite? Or visa versa? To designate someone as a friend, when meanwhile they are out to kill you?

This is why first impressions mean the world to us. As inaccurate as they may be, they allow us to quickly define people. We can base the future of our relationships with people, on the first ten minutes of knowing them. We want to be able to ascertain people immediately. That’s why we judge people so quickly; it’s the easy way out.

Although it’s been made clear that characterizing people immediately isn’t always a great thing to do, it’s sometimes necessary. A classic example I can use to prove this, is a job interview; especially the positions that only require you to go through one evaluation. Imagine the position of the employer. They are forced to make a decision on keeping this potential employee, or letting them go, based on what they learn at that moment.

On interviews, the old saying “you’ll never get a second chance to make a first impression”, is a complete reality. One of the most dangerous things about having that in mind is that you might tend to bend the truth. You’ll give the employer, what you think, he or she, wants to hear. So now, the employer not only has to make a choice on keeping you, but also has to filter through every statement you make. I mean, after all, you could be lying.

Judging people can be a dangerous thing to do. Sadly, I don’t believe we’ll ever be free from it. Not only because it’s inescapable in some instances, but we as humans, will ALWAYS want, the easy way out. It’s so much easier to define someone right away, then to take time out and truly get to know them.

Trial and error, that’s life. I’ll always judge people on first impressions and more then likely, I’ll always be wrong.

~ Jordan Lee Rivera

A Musical Inspiration

There's an old saying that goes "a wise man hears one word, and understands two"
When I first read that, it caught me by surprise. I tried to think of how in the world it could be true. I hear one word, I get one word. Now I thought, maybe they the old proverb is talking about similes. You hear the word "beautiful" and think "beautiful" and "gorgeous".

I learned Sunday that’s not what it means. However, there is a twist. It wasn't words I heard, it was notes. The occasional Bb or, F #, maybe even an E. However, it wasn't just notes I heard. There was something more. Something attached to those notes. I heard words. With each note played, there was a word attached to it.

With each sweet melody there was a phrase, a statement that my soul needed to hear. It pierced through my heart into my most inner being. It was then that it became clear to me. You can hear 1 thing, but get 2.

I owe a great deal of thanks to someone for being the tool that God has called her to be. I don’t know much about her life, but I do know that, while the world told her one thing, God made another thing happen. When doctors told her she’d be weak, God still used her for his glory. She is a living testimony and verses like Psalm 118:14 (“The LORD is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation.”) live through her.

I know the Lord is her song. I heard it on Sunday. She is the one who played those notes that had those words attached. Her story of strength was played into my ears in a way that I have never experience before. I learned so much about music in what seemed to me, a short 8 measures.

Yi-Ting Chiang, the strongest warrior I know, a person who exudes God’s grace. I know it’s Jesus’ who plays through her, and I hope one day, he’ll play through me.

A Ride On The Train

I love that universal look of disappointment on the look of my fellow New Yorkers when the train is stopped in the middle of a tunnel. I always have my head phones on, so I never hear if the conductor is making announcements and what not. But the look of the faces of the people who are on the same train as I, says it all.

Another thing... Please.. PLEASE, LET ME OFF THE TRAIN!!! My God. It's always a battle of EPIC proportions trying to get off a train. It is very upsetting man!

Anyways, just needed to vent on that subject. Moving on, I wanna elaborate on something...

Isn't it amazing how you can send a message to someone just by giving a look. Like that "unbelieveable" look. Where you kinda nod your head from side to side and roll your eyes while puckering your lips left or right. Isn't that crazy?

We have like a Kazillion muscles in our faces.

(dang.. I just saw a $150 bluetooth device on the subway tracks.. That sucks...)

Fake Love

McDonalds aint real food. Our love aint real either. but when your hella hungry, not only does it taste real, but it also taste good. Real good. Like our love.

JUST FOR YOU!!!

Just For You!!!

Well hello faithful readers.. It's 1:23 in the morning and this is a live blog.. for those who don't know, I usually write my blogs on my phone and then post them up several days later..
So please bear with me, i don't feel like going through that whole "spell check" drama and grammer check and all that jazz.. just follow along..

Someone very dear to me told me to write a blog [litterally like 37 seconds ago] so here goes..
How many times in your life have you thought something up that YOU thought was profound.. How many times did you think up something that original? I'm beginning to realize, that there is NO way that we as human beings can continue to create totally original thoughts..

How many people in the world have said something like "the projects is just like prison" and thought it was something they thought up of on their own.. now, that's a terrible example, but remember this is a live blog, so it's all off the top.. lol.. but my point is that i've thought sooooo many things, that i thought were original, only to find out that my thought [or atleast the main point of my thought] was original.

I remember saying something like "the definition of beauty is different for everyone. It all depends on who you are. there is no true definition to 'beauty'.."

only later to realize that totally intertwined with "beauty is in the eye of the beholder"
So this leads me to believe that none of my thoughts are original. Everything i say, has already been said by someone at some point in time. How i was raise, where i currently am, what i believe, and a million other factors play into the REASON i said it again. crap.. i'm concerned i'm not making sense here. lmao.. sorry ya'll.. this is why i don't do live blogs.. but anywayz..

Why do all children think they know it all? you tell them, don't touch the stove, it'll burn you" and yet they do it anyway.. see, they thought nothing would happen. but what lead them to believe that? i bring up the children as an example to show that none of our thoughs are original. Some of our thoughts in fact are just human nature. we're all created to think that fire won't hurt us...

and another thing... WE MUST LEARN TO CONTINUALLY IMPROVE!!! it sounds sad because thats something i got from my job's orientation.. lmao, but it's been on my mind.. I've been seeing some people lately who are stuck in a comfort zone.. as in they are happy with how things are.. NO! things can always be better.. won't you join me in my plea to never be comfortable?
Ahh.. thats my new years resolution!!! [soo what i'm 13 days late!!!] i will not stop improving myself this year!!

How's that [person whom this blog was written for]?
[ofcourse that doesn't mean it wasn't for my other fan{s}] (lol)

much love ya'll!!!

p.s. if i didn't make sense, lemme know.. it'll drive me crazy unless ya'll tell me.. cuz if i don't, then i'll re write and get my thoughts together... i don't do live blogs!!! lmao!! much love everyone!!