First Impressions...

First impressions are never valid. It’s amazing how in many situations, the first impression is what'll get you the job, or the girl, or the trust. People can look at you, and based on their first impression, think to themselves, "oh hell no..."

Here's something ironic: How many times in your life have you heard "you know when I first met you..." Those statements usually end like "I would have never thought..."

For instance, have you ever met someone who had hip-hop written all over them, and later on you realize they are heavy metal fans? It’s been made obvious, through out time, how inaccurate our judgments, based on first impressions, are. With that being said, can someone please explain to me the reason behind our judgments? Why do we label people almost instantly? It’s been proven that we are more then likely to be wrong! Yet we continue in our ways.

Why?

Perhaps it’s because, no matter who you are, you’ll always want the easy way out. I mean, who doesn’t want to get on the shorter line? So what if you have 15 items and it’s a 12 items or less line? You’re still going to go for it. It’s the easy way, so why not take it. You might find yourself asking “Excuse sir, but what does waiting in line have anything to do with judging someone, based on a first impression?” Well, if you hold your horses, I’ll get to that point.

As I mentioned, we always want the easy way out. Another thing we’ll always want is the ability to know our friends, family, peers, and pretty much anyone we encounter through out our lives. When you truly know someone, it can launch an everyday, mediocre friendship, to a whole new level. Whenever we come across a new person, there are times when we have a wall around us. It’s a defense mechanism; “I don’t know this person, so therefore I must keep my guard up.” When you know someone, even if this person truly is an untrustworthy shark, you’ll be put at ease. You’ll know that they are an untrustworthy shark, so therefore your mind will relax. There will be no need for that defense mechanism. You already know how they are, so you’d know what to look out fore.

Imagine being at war. In a battlefield, where you cannot see your enemy, there is absolutely no chance of peace in mind. Every step you take, you would be fearful of being sighted by the enemy. Not only would there be a war happening outside, but also in your mind. “Should I move? Should I stay here? Am I safe? Can they see me?” Imagine the advantage you would have, if you knew your opponents whereabouts.

Why do we judge people so quickly? How can we be so fast to label people? Isn’t it terrible to classify someone as an enemy, when yet they are actually the total opposite? Or visa versa? To designate someone as a friend, when meanwhile they are out to kill you?

This is why first impressions mean the world to us. As inaccurate as they may be, they allow us to quickly define people. We can base the future of our relationships with people, on the first ten minutes of knowing them. We want to be able to ascertain people immediately. That’s why we judge people so quickly; it’s the easy way out.

Although it’s been made clear that characterizing people immediately isn’t always a great thing to do, it’s sometimes necessary. A classic example I can use to prove this, is a job interview; especially the positions that only require you to go through one evaluation. Imagine the position of the employer. They are forced to make a decision on keeping this potential employee, or letting them go, based on what they learn at that moment.

On interviews, the old saying “you’ll never get a second chance to make a first impression”, is a complete reality. One of the most dangerous things about having that in mind is that you might tend to bend the truth. You’ll give the employer, what you think, he or she, wants to hear. So now, the employer not only has to make a choice on keeping you, but also has to filter through every statement you make. I mean, after all, you could be lying.

Judging people can be a dangerous thing to do. Sadly, I don’t believe we’ll ever be free from it. Not only because it’s inescapable in some instances, but we as humans, will ALWAYS want, the easy way out. It’s so much easier to define someone right away, then to take time out and truly get to know them.

Trial and error, that’s life. I’ll always judge people on first impressions and more then likely, I’ll always be wrong.

~ Jordan Lee Rivera